When Time Collides
by rockloj
Summary: It's the summer before 7th year, Harry's birthday and Harry and the gang are knee deep into trouble. Late night phone calls,a trip to France,and two hot tattoos are only the beginning. What happens when a birthday present turns time upside down?
1. Chapter 1

**All characters thoughts are in italics.**

It was a warm summer morning when Harry Potter awakened. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and everything would have been completely normal had it not been for his very strange dream and past events of the recent month. But today was going to be a very strange seventeenth birthday for Harry and he could tell that something was bound to happen soon. Looking over to his best mate Harry grinned to himself; at the moment Ron was contently sleeping in his bed and Harry would have left him that way if he had not suddenly turned over on his back and displayed his chest openly for the world to see. It wasn't the fact that Harry could see his best mate's chest it was the thing displayed across his chest that reminded him he should wake his best mate before Mrs. Weasley did and decided to beat Ron to death with a bludger at the sight she would see.

Beautifully drawn across Ron's chest was the Gryffindor symbol; a beautifully drawn lion with its auburn mane and golden flesh roaring with the pride of a king. Ron had hand picked it the day he and Harry went to Diagon Alley with Lupin who kindly reminded Ron of what his mother would say if he ever saw it. Ron's only words were "It's better than a bloody snake. Mum should be proud to have a house full of Gryffindors and I'm gonna show just how proud I am." And with that he marched boldly into the chair to get his first tattoo. After Ron had finally gotten his tattoo Harry asked the tattoo artist if he could draw a tattoo of a phoenix exactly identical to Fawkes. After lots of questioning on the exact coloring, wing span, and height of the bird the artist decided that he had enough information to draw a likeness of Fawkes on Harry. Ron and Lupin hadn't commented on it but they knew it was a sign of respect to Dumbledore.

Coming out of his daze and looking at his own chest reminded him that he needed to wake Ron soon before Hermione and Ginny came to get them out of their beds and downstairs for breakfast. In the two weeks that Harry had spent at the Burrow he could feel that Hermione knew he and Ron were hiding something from her but it was only a matter of time before she uncovered the mystery and flipped out on the both of them for their "juvenile and irresponsible decision making" or something like it. So far Ron and Harry were keeping on their toes; they had awakened early or on time everyday much to Ron's chagrin and showered and clothed themselves before anyone could even come to wake them. Even Mrs. Weasley had noticed their timeliness and had commented on it quite a bit but never took much notice to it because it gave the boys more work to do.

Getting up and smacking Ron on the head with a pillow Harry began to dress for the morning while Ron commented on something along the lines of 'not sleeping in even on one's birthday'. The boys dressed quickly and went downstairs for breakfast where they were met by Mr. and Mrs. Weasley.

''Good Morning boys!!'' said Mr. Weasley ''Harry how are you feeling now that you're seventeen any wiser, stronger?''

"Uhm … no, I don't think so sir. I feel about the same as usual I guess'' said Harry as he sat down and filled his plate with food.

Other than the fact that he no longer had to wear glasses Harry honestly felt the same as he would any other day.

''Well one thing is for sure your appetite has surely gotten bigger'' said Mrs. Weasley as she watched him fill his plate to the brim ''It's almost the size of a Weasley's!!''

''Aw mum leave Harry alone he's a growing boy'' Ron said _Even if he can't spot the changes he's going through _

The boys had only been at the table for five minutes when Ginny and Hermione graced them with their presence. Ginny was wearing short shorts and a light blue shirt while Hermione was wearing a black mini skirt that just barely came to her knees and a red tank top. Ron subtly admired Hermione's choice in clothing this morning until she directed her attention towards him. Hermione gave Ron and Harry the usual suspicious looks before sitting down and greeting everyone while Ginny began to fill her plate with food.

''You two got up early today'' were Hermione's first words towards Ron and Harry since she had entered the kitchen.

''We always get up early Hermione. What's the difference between today and the past couple weeks?'' Ron said.

''Well for one thing it's Harry's birthday that's the difference. I thought the two of you would have still been sleeping''

''If we were still sleeping would you have brought us breakfast in bed?''

Hermione gave Ron a scandalized look for his remark but answered all the same ''No''.

''Then what was the point in sleeping and starving when we could get up and make our food for ourselves, especially since you weren't going to do it for us?'' Ron asked.

He and Harry both knew that Hermione only wanted them to still be asleep so that she could try to figure out what they were trying to hide from her. They had both discussed it with one another and had felt bad about not telling her their secret but they had agreed that if they did she would either flip out on them and tell Mrs. Weasley or she wouldn't talk to them for hiding it from her and thinking she would be upset. So no matter which way they looked at it they couldn't tell her until she was ready. _Whenever that may be_

Ron thought.

''Well?'' Ron said after he noticed Hermione had failed to answer his question.

''Just forget it'' Hermione mumbled and went back to her breakfast.

Breakfast went along fairly quiet other than Fred and George popping in through Floo to say that they wouldn't be back until lunch due to the overflow of customers at the shop and Errol dropping through (literally) with some mail for Mr. Weasley regarding work at the Ministry. Bill and Fleur were to be expected sometime in the afternoon due to Fleur's pregnancy and Charlie would be home about noon so the house was fairly empty. Breakfast was almost over when a slight vibration from the cabinet and a tune that sounded vaguely familiar to Hermione.

''Is that a cell phone'', Hermione asked ''with an Indiana Jones ring tone??''

At this Harry jumped up from the table and summoned the phone which got louder as it came out of its hiding place in the food cabinet.

''That's where it was!'' he exclaimed ''Hello''

''Happy Birthday love'' said a female voice from the other end of the phone.

Unknown to Harry everyone in the kitchen had tuned in listen at the sound of the female voice.

_Who the bloody hell is that? And why did she just call Harry love?_ Ron thought to himself while listening in.

''Hey!'', Harry said happily as he recognized the voice ''Happy Birthday to you too you know. How come you're not asleep?''

''I could ask you the same thing you know. And don't give me that whole 'I don't have to answer you' speech because we both know that right now if you were at my place it would take an entire buffet of food to wake you up.''

_Bloody Hell!! I thought Harry was with the Dursleys these past few weeks. Sounds like he's already been around the block once or twice staying with this girl._

_WHAT'S SHE MEAN 'AT HER PLACE' I CAN'T BELIEVE LITTLE HARRY WOULD GO TO SUCH LENGTHS IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME!!_

_Well, well, well. Harry's been busier than I thought and it looks like Ron wasn't in on this one. He looks really surprised! I wonder what else they haven't been telling me._

_I wonder if Harry will let me borrow his telephone after he's through talking it doesn't have wires or anything on it like the one I have!!_

_When did he get enough time to lounge around with a girl!! He's always pushing people away and he has time to stay with this __**girl**__ for who knows how long!!!!_

''Hey! I take offense to that. If you must know I like to wake up when I'm with the Weasleys its … peaceful. With you there's nonstop chaos!''

''Blah blah blah. Excuses excuses that's all I hear. Hey has Hedwig arrived yet.''

''Uh no. Why?''

''Oh don't worry she should be there before I hang up. I sent her with some presents for you and your friends.''

''Oh''

''Oh that's all you can say? How bout a what cha get for me instead.''

''But I told you already..''

''I know I know '' she said cutting off Harry ''You don't want me to buy you anything. So instead I did something better.''

''Yeah, what's that?'' Harry asked as he went back to the table and drank a sip of pumpkin juice.

''I'm coming to see you''

''WHAT!!'' Harry yelled as he spit out the pumpkin juice onto the table. He took enough time to cast a _scorgify_ on the table before he could find the words to say.

''LIL!! …Lil …. Precious.. lovely.. little Lil''

''I can come see you right? You said I could before you left or have you changed your mind'' Lil said.

_What's he up to promising people that they can come see him. She sounds like a scarlet woman to me. And why did she send Hedwig with presents for us? We don't even know who she is!! Hermione thought scandalized._

Harry couldn't stand the torture she sounded so sad and at the same time he was unsure if the Weasleys would allow her to come over; even though he was pretty sure they would be happy to have more company it was Ginny and Hermione especially he was worried about.

''Lil just please promise me you didn't runaway from home or do something stupid like spend all your money to get here from Paris.''

_Bloody Hell did he say Paris?! If he brings a veela around here I'm dead for sure!!_

_Oh Paris is so romantic. No wonder the poor dear sounds sad._

_When the hell did Harry go to Paris!!?? Ginny and Hermione thought simultaneously_

''No mum brought me and…''

Lil stopped talking for a moment and Harry couldn't hear anything from the other end of the phone.

''Lil is everything okay?'' Harry asked.

''Yeah mum came in she wants to say hi''

''Er okay''

''Hello Harold '' said a motherly voice that reminded everyone in the room of Mrs. Weasley yet more melodic and harmonious.

''Bonjour, Sister Mary. How are you this morning?''

_Did he say Sister? As in a nun! I didn't know there were any nuns in the wizarding world!! _

''I'm fine and happy to hear that you're doing well. Have you eaten breakfast yet?''

''Yes, Sister. I was just finishing up when Lil called.''

''Good. Now have you heard from the doctor about…''

''MOM do you know where my shirt is?'' said Lil from the background

''Excuse me for one moment Harry'' said Sister Mary said briskly.

''Sure thing''

Harry could hear squabbling in the background of the phone and what sounded like a very condescending and harsh tone replacing the harmonious one.

_And another lovely save by Lil. Sadly she's going to pay for that one and I can't help her. The last thing I need is anyone snooping into __**this**__ if its leaked I'm doomed and they get put in danger!!_

_Did she say something about a doctor?? What's a doctor and what does Harry need one for? Thought Ginny and Ron_

''Harry, Lil says that you're not so sure you'll be able to meet up with her today.''

''Oh no Sister it's not like that I assure you its just I'm at the Weasleys and I'm not sure about..''

''We'll only be in town the rest of the week and then we have to go home. And the rest of our time after today will be spent in conferences.''

Harry could tell that Sister Mary wasn't happy about the arrangements especially since she said they would be in conferences the rest of the week and Sister Mary **hated **conferences but he didn't know what to do.

All of a sudden Harry was tapped on the shoulder by Mrs. Weasley. At first Harry thought she was telling him to put the phone away but Hermione caught on and covered the mouthpiece of the phone.

''Why don't you invite your friend dear? She sounds nice and I'm sure her mother hasn't brought her all this way for nothing. It'll be alright I'm sure.''

''Really? 'Cause I must warn you that if you invite her you're gonna have about twenty red heads in one place and they're mainly going to be female.''

''I heard that Harold'' said Sister Mary

Harry turned around to see that Hermione had let go of the phone and resumed eating her breakfast.

''I didn't mean that in a disrespectful way Sister its just… ''

''I know and don't worry I only brought six of them with me. And you'll be happy to know that Victoria is one of them.''

''Well I guess its okay then especially since Mrs. Weasley says so''

''Perfect when shall we see you all''

''Um I guess around lunch or so is good''

''Excellent one o'clock it is at the Burrow. We'll see you then Harry''

''Bye''

As Harry hung up the phone he was passive and tranquil, but also tense. He could tell that this was the feeling that he'd had this morning and that things were only starting to get hectic getting through the rest of today was his biggest challenge. That. And facing the millions of questions that were about to be asked by Ron, Hermione, Ginny and the rest of the Weasley household about the lovely Lil and how they came to meet.


	2. Chapter 2

After the initial shock and sense of impending doom wore off Harry decided to excuse himself from the table. Before he left he was greeted by Hedwig who was carrying a large beautifully wrapped parcel. Upon opening the large gift he found that all of the presents had been miniaturized for Hedwig's convenience. Everyone received a present even Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Ron was given a fitted Chudley Cannons robe and Chocolate Frogs; Hermione got a book about the Ancient Runes of the Amazon; Ginny received a complete outfit that looked like it would fit her perfectly and came with everything from the matching pants, skirt, shorts, and shoes; Mrs. Weasley received a remedy book for all ailments. _Definitely from Sister Mary Harry thought_. And Mr. Weasley received a cell phone very much resembling the one Harry had. It wasn't until everyone had opened their gifts and shared them with one another did they notice that Harry hadn't opened his own present.

''Aren't you going to open your present Harry? It is your birthday you know.'' said Ginny

''Yeah I know. I think I'll open it upstairs though''

And with this he left the kitchen and went back to the room he and Ron shared. Harry was pretty sure he knew what was inside. The size of the box alone gave it away. Opening the gift wrap his beliefs were confirmed. Lil had given him the locket from the store he had seen in Paris. The only thing he couldn't figure out was how she had afforded it. As he examined the gift he found the answer; inscribed in the back of the locket was an insignia that read _**SM**_. Harry wouldn't be able to find out why Sister Mary spent so much on the locket until later today when he saw her. For now he was interested in what was inside the locket. Placed neatly inside was a wizarding picture that brought tears to Harry's eyes. Inside the locket was a picture of Harry as a baby with his mother and father on what looked like a nice summer day. They were laughing as they watched the young Harry play with a red headed girl that looked to be the same age as him. They were having a great time in front of their house in Godric's Hollow. Harry studied the picture a while longer before closing the locket and wiping his eyes. He studied its shape and size for a moment before he put it on.

Just as he had finished tightening the catch Ron, Hermione, and Ginny came in.

''Sorry mate but Hermione was hell bent on coming up here''

''S'okay''

''Are you alright Harry?''

''Yeah I'm fine. The present was real nice.''

''What was it?'' Ginny asked

''A locket with a picture of me and my parents in front of our house. We were having a picnic I think.''

''That's nice''

''How did they get a picture of you with your mom and dad?'' Hermione asked abruptly

''What's it matter Hermione?! It was a nice gift!'' Ron exclaimed

''Harry how long have you known this girl? And how did she get a picture of you with your family? It might not even be a real picture for all you know.'' she said getting annoyed that no one else was thinking of these things but her.

''Here. You can look at the picture if you don't believe me. And as far as how long I've known her you guys are gonna need to sit down so I can tell you how I met her.''

After inspecting the picture Hermione realized that she may have been wrong but she had one last question before she let Harry tell his side of the story.

''Who's the red headed baby?''

''Dunno. Friend I guess'' he said afraid she might not believe him.

''Alright then how did you meet Lil?'' she asked sitting down on Ron's bed and propping herself up against his pillow.

Ron and Ginny followed her example with Ron sitting on his bed next to Hermione and Ginny sitting next to Harry.

''Well, it all started when the Dursleys decided to go to Paris and they didn't have anyone to watch me.''

'_Petunia!' Vernon Dursley shouted._

'_Yes Vernon'_

'_We're going to Paris! Pack your bags the plane leaves tomorrow afternoon.'_

'_Oh, Paris!! But Vernon when did this happen and where are we going to stay?' Petunia asked_

'_I won the raffle at work all expense paid trip. And we'll be staying at the finest hotel there!' he exclaimed proudly 'Where's Dudley? I want to tell him the good news.'_

'_He's sleeping right now dear. He'll be awake for dinner.' She said happily_

'_What about me?' Harry asked as he came into the room._

'_What about you boy? You will be with Mrs. Figg as usual.' he proclaimed smugly_

'_Mrs. Figg is on holiday and she won't be back until the end of summer.' Harry stated calmly._

'_Well then, we'll just…' Uncle Vernon was panicking and Harry could see it in the way his two chins were shaking and his face was coloring. Suddenly an idea came to him._

'_What if I get enough money to pay for my own ticket and hotel room? Could I go then or would you rather leave me in your house on my own?' Harry said snidely._

_He knew his Aunt and Uncle too well for them to leave him in their beloved house alone in fear he would do magic or worse invite __**his kind **__over while they were away._

'_Fine, I'll call the airport and reserve the ticket for you but you'll have to pay for it once we're there. And your hotel had better be somewhere different than ours but in close distance where we can keep an eye on you' he said clearly unhappy with his decision._

'_Deal' Harry said_

''So you got the money out of your Gringotts account and had it traded in for muggle money?'' Hermione asked.

''Yup. And instead of the crappy ticket Uncle Vernon reserved for me I flew first class.'' Harry said grinning madly.

''And the hotel I reserved for myself was a wizarding one so I fit right in.''

''So is that where you met her?'' Ron asked. Anxiously hoping Harry would get on with the rest of the story.

''That part's coming Ron'' Ginny said clearly telling him to grow up. ''Continue Harry'' she said now ignoring Ron and the scolding looks he was sending her way.

''Err right. So we got there all right and checked in to our respective hotels. The next morning I met Lil at the wizarding market while exploring on my own.''

_Deciding to check out wizarding Paris rather than muggle Paris Harry took one of the bellhop's advice and went to the wizarding market. Obviously in Paris the muggles and wizards got along all right without much trouble. So it wasn't much of a surprise when he saw that everyone was dressed alike in muggle clothing._

_As he was walking around Harry noticed that many of the people he walked by were indeed red heads and mainly female. After going by a couple of stands and purchasing food Harry noticed a certain red head. Her hair came down to her back and he was pretty sure that he would have called her Ginny if she hadn't been taller than Gin and with a hair color that somehow reminded him of his mother. _

_Coming out of his daze he noticed that she was struggling with some bags and decided to help her._

'_Hi, need any help?' he said as he approached her_

'_I guess help wouldn't be too bad.' She said dumping two bags in his arms and picking up two more._

'_Think you can help me take these back to the Abbey?' she asked._

'_The what?' Harry said confused._

_Turning around and inspecting her Good Samaritan she noticed two things:_

_One: she had never seen him before meaning he was a tourist _

_and Two: he looked vaguely familiar _

'_Are you …' she began_

'_My name's Harry.' He said introducing himself_

'_Um, no. I mean are you… ' she said again._

'_Oh' Harry said finally catching on 'Muggle?' he asked_

'_Opposite' she said_

'_Same here' he responded_

'_Good. Where's your family? You should probably… ' _

'_I'm alone' he said cutting her off_

'_Oh, okay. The Abbey is about ten minutes away but we should make it back in half the time if we walk fast.' _

'_Uh, okay. Hey what's your name anyway?' he asked noticing he had given her his name _

'_Everyone calls me Lil' she said._

_And with that she walked off towards the back of the market with Harry following her as fast as he could._

''And that's how we met.'' Harry said. ''And the Abbey was a church where they kept orphans so that they could get adopted'' he said hurriedly as he noticed Hermione about to ask another question.

''So … she's an orphan?'' Ginny asked coming out of her silence since Harry had finished his story.

''Yeah, kind of like me. But Sister Mary found her when she was a baby and took good care of her until she was cleared to be adopted and then adopted her herself.'' He explained

''So… Harry when did the Durlseys see you and when did you come back from Paris?'' Hermione asked puzzled at this new information.

_To think I thought of her as a Scarlet Woman this morning_ she thought guiltily.

''I saw the Dursleys once or twice and they came back before I did. After meeting Lil and playing with the kids at the orphanage I got hooked and went there everyday. So… Sister Mary asked the other nuns if it was okay if I stayed and they got me settled in at Lil's place. After that I met her crazy friends and Marie.''

''Who's Marie?'' Ginny asked

''Oh. Marie is three and she's real smart. Lil got clearance to adopt her as soon as she gets her own place away from the Abbey. You'll probably see her today. She is so cute and she already calls Lil mommy'' Harry said grinning.

''What does she call you?'' Ron asked.

''Uncle Harry'' he said grinning to himself ''She might call you Uncle Won though since I still can't get her to pronounce the R correctly.''

''Not funny'' Ron said through gritted teeth while stealing a glance at Hermione. He didn't need any reminders of his mistake with Lavender Brown.

''Aw Ron she's only three. It'll be okay.'' Hermione said surprising everyone in the room. ''What!! Toddlers don't fully grow cognitively until the age of four when pronunciation is key. It's only expected for her to mess up Ron's name.'' she said defendingly

''Yeah well. There's one more thing I have to tell … well **show** you guys and you have to promise not to freak out.'' Harry said.

When he was met with silence he mustered up all his Gryffindor courage.

''Um, Gin. You might want to move over a bit.''

''Rajah come on out boy''

Everyone looked around the room except for Ginny who got up and left without one word.

''Rajah? Uh oh. Ron did you leave the door open when you went to sleep last night?'' Harry asked

''No'' Ron answered

At that very moment Ginny came back into the room and sat back down on Harry's bed.

''Don't fret Harry he's coming up now'' she said calmly.

Ron and Hermione were at a complete loss of words.

''How do you …''

''He's been in and out of my room since you came. I never saw his tag but seeing as he was always gone in the morning I just figured he was lonely and wanted a bed buddy. He's very polite too and mum will be thrilled once she knows she can feed him more often'' she explained

''Wait a minute. He's been sleeping in your room and your mother has been feeding him and no one thought it strange. I mean I know he's a respectable creature and all but ……. whatever as long as your mum says it's okay for him to stay''

''Err Harry Hermione and I are kind of lost. Mind filling me in a bit especially since it involves some thing sleeping with my sister.'' Ron exclaimed while Hermione sat in complete silence

A moment later the door opened and a large Siberian Tiger entered the room and laid down on the bed next to Ginny and closed his eyes.

''Don't you have anything to say for yourself '' he said angrily

''I'm sorry that you couldn't wait longer for me to get back but I had pressing matters to attend to. A snake almost ate the chickens this morning and seeing as you were asleep and I like eggs I took it upon myself to set things straight.'' Rajah said snootily

''Did he just talk without moving his mouth? His eyes aren't even open!'' Ron said shocked.

''He's a protector Ron. Isn't that right?'' Hermione said redirecting her attention to Rajah.

''That is correct Ms. Granger. I speak through telepathic waves and my own language of tiger, naturally. You understand me because you are friend. If you were foe you would simply hear my soft purrs and I would pick up your negative vibes'' he said ''And might I add miss Granger that I do not nor will I possibly ever like your cat'' he said growling at Crookshanks as he entered the room.

''Crookshanks, what did you do?'' Hermione said picking up the gingery fur ball and placing him on her lap.

''He scratched up my face and he constantly challenges me. If he didn't belong to you he'd have been eaten by now''

''See 'Mione told you that cat was no good. Even I know better than to start a fight with a protector. All the animals look up to him and its bad karma if you scuffle with one for no reason'' Ron said looking at Crookshanks with glee. _Maybe if I get lucky he'll eat the bloody cat anyway._

''Well Rajah be nice. If Crookshanks wants to sleep in the room with the girls you can't stop him 'cause he was here first'' Harry said sternly

''It's okay Harry. Crookshanks will be sleeping outside from now on'' Hermione said putting the cat on the floor and shooing him from the room.

''How did you get a protector anyway?''

''You don't **get** a protector we seek out our partners at birth. Once we find them we look after them. In my case I was protected by Sister Mary who smuggled me away before the muggles had a chance to skin me. Once Harry found Sister Mary I found him and I shall stay with him until he either dies or has kids of his own for me to watch over.'' Rajah explained

''So you basically make his life go as smoothly as possible until the end.'' Ron said

''I guess if that's the way you want to put it in laments terms then yes'' Rajah answered

''So you can find him a girlfriend and a wife too?'' Ron asked

''No. That he must do on his own'' Rajah said as he rolled over on his back so Ginny could rub his stomach

''Yeah, yeah, yeah. So is everyone okay with him being here? You guys don't think your dad and brothers will mind much do you 'cause the girls are gonna want to see him again?'' Harry asked

''They aren't going to mind it's all a question of whether you can put up with them'' Ginny said to Rajah

''Let me guess. They're like children only bigger and stronger right?'' he said looking around the room for reassurances

''I can handle them. And I have something special for Fred and George'' he said and he excused himself so that he could go get some last minute rest.

Everyone could only wonder what the something special was that Rajah said he had for Fred and George.


	3. Chapter 3

After Rajah's strange announcement and the end of the interrogation session Harry decided to take a nap. Ron had gone out to help set up for the party while Ginny and Hermione decided to help in the kitchen and change clothes afterwards. Harry was having a nice peaceful nap until he got the feeling he was being watched. Halfway coming out of his sleep Harry felt someone poking him hard in the back.

''Lemmeloneandgetout'' he mumbled but the poking insisted. He tried throwing the pillow and for a few seconds thought he had gotten his point across when…

''RAJAH WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!! GET YOUR CLAWS AND YOUR ASS OFF OF MY BACK!!!'' Harry yelled in rage as he jumped off of the bed and hopped into his pants.

Completely unconcerned with the fact that he was only wearing a pair of shorts Harry was ready to chase Rajah all over the house until he could get hold of him and beat him in the head. It wasn't until Harry heard a gasp that he came back in touch with reality. Spinning around he came face to face with Ginny whose eyes were glued to his chest. The air in the room was still until the sound of the door closing brought the two out of their speechlessness.

''Mum told me to bring you some food so you wouldn't starve. I tried to wake you up and then I had Rajah do it for me. I didn't think he would jump on you though'' she said hurriedly

''Err, thanks'' Harry said

''Is that the reason you and Ron are always waking up before us?'' she asked. Harry noticed that as she asked the question she was analyzing his tattoo and the rest of him with a glint in her eye that he couldn't really place.

''Well, yeah'', he confessed ''but you can't tell Hermione or she'll freak out.''

''I kind of figured as much but she said you two might have been thinking about doing something stupid'' she said.

''Yeah? What did she say when you brought up the tattoo theory?'' he said looking slightly hopeful.

''Nothing except that you couldn't get a tattoo unless a grownup was with you and even if you did get one she would have known because you and Ron would have wanted to show them to everyone'' she said dully as she sat on Harry's bed and picked through his lunch.

''Well'', he said sitting beside her and picking up a sandwich ''she hit it spot on about the grownup thing but why would she think we would want to show off a tattoo?''

''Dunno, I half expected you to but on the other hand I kind of figured you would keep it secret until school so mum wouldn't kill Ron''

''That …and we wanted to tell everyone, especially Hermione, when we thought they were ready.'' he said

''When do you think Hermione will be ready then?'' she asked curiously marveling at the way the tattoo moved on his chest.

''Dunno, soon I hope'' he said finishing off his sandwich ''Do you know where he might be? I don't want him to get cornered by Hermione.'' he said starting to worry about his best mate.

''Last I checked he was helping finish up and Hermione was changing'' she said thoughtfully ''besides the worst that could happen is Hermione gives him a couple of bruises.''

''No, the worst that could happen is Ron looks down her shirt and gets a good glimpse of her breasts. After that it's as if you poured an entire cauldron of Veritaserum into his mouth.'' Harry said shaking his head ''Ask him a question and he'll be more than happy to answer''

''Well as long as he steers clear of the bathroom he should be fine.''

Ron had just come from outside and was dripping with sweat. Constantly moving around furniture under his mother's command Ron and Charlie had had to bear their mother's and the sun's tirade. Now that he was in the house he felt that he was in desperate need of a shower. Going straight upstairs to the bathroom Ron ran the water so that he could take his shower. It wasn't until he took off his shirt and looked in the mirror that he began to have second thoughts about his shower. Unfortunately the more unreasonable side of him won out and told him to take the shower. Conceding to his thoughts Ron hopped in the shower.

After half an hour of scrubbing, and a scent of fresh lemons to prove it, Ron was finally clean. Grabbing a towel and beginning to dry off Ron stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around his waist while grabbing another one to dry off his hair. It wasn't until Ron looked towards the sink that he noticed a pair of sandals and painted toes that he noticed he wasn't the only one in the bathroom.

''Gin…'' he started but stopped when he saw who it was.

Perched atop the sink was none other than Hermione. She had changed into a lovely sun dress that showed just enough of her cleavage for Ron to see. At the moment she was watching Ron watch her and hadn't even minded that Ron had made the mistake of calling her his sister. As he looked closely Ron noticed two things. The first was that not only was she looking at him but her eyes were drawn to the southern regions of his towel and he was pretty sure shecould see his hard on and the second was that she had a mischievous look in her eye that reminded him of Ginny.

''Err, hi… Hermione'' he said finally taking his eyes off of her breasts.

''Hello Ron'' was all she said.

''Erm, can I help you with something?'' he asked cautiously.

''No. Well… maybe.''

''Okay what's up?''

''I could ask you the same thing'' she said

''What do you mean?''

''Well, why is it ", she began as she got down from the sink and cornered an already anxious Ron "that you couldn't confide in me about your lovely new tattoo?''

''Sooo you're not upset?''

''Mmmm no'' she said as she lightly traced the lion with her finger.

Ron let her continue to do this until he became aware of all of his blood rushing south and his brain beginning to shut down.

''So you're not gonna tell my mum?'' Ron asked as he watched her fascination with his tattoo.

''I never said that'' she said tracing the mane of the lion near his nipple

''But she'll kill me if you tell her. Come on 'Mione pleeease. I'll do anything.'' He said hurriedly.

''Anything?''

''Anything, I swear''

''Yes, well you do enough of that on a daily basis'', she said thinking ''Fine. I won't tell your mother as long as you do everything I tell you to do''

''Okay'' he said happily not even thinking of what that might include.

_What's the worst that could happen? he thought. All I have to do is follow her around and do whatever she says. Besides if this is what she's going to wear all day it is __**definitely**__ worth it._

_I can't believe how easy this is going to be. Doesn't he even want to know what the terms include? she thought as she eyed him from top to bottom. He is __**extremely happy **__and just seeing that tells me this dress is definitely working __**wonders**__ on his hormones. I would love to see all of him spread out on a bed; his strong hands caressing me and using his fingers on my clit……Snap out of it! she thought sternly. I can daydream later right now I need to get out of here before anyone sees me and gets the wrong impression. Not that it would matter._

''Err, Hermione'' Ron said bringing her back to reality.

''Yes''

''I have to pee. So can you um...you know…''

''Right sorry'' she said grinning and left.

It took Ron twenty minutes to pee.

Lil had decided to take a drive and paint something before going to see Harry. Painting calmed her nerves and the fact that she was about to meet seven Weasley children and all of Harry's friends was a bit unnerving for her. Lil had been driving for a while and she didn't know exactly where she was. It wasn't until she had thought she had gotten lost when she found her next picture. Sitting in front of her was a lopsided house. It had a slanted front porch and rickety looking steps but in her eyes it was perfect. Backing up the car a reasonable distance she parked and began to get her painting things out of the trunk. Suddenly, Marie woke up and looked around.

''Where are we?'' she asked curiously.

''Dunno, but I'm about to paint and then we're going to the party'' she said as she changed into a dirty pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

''Can I play with Sirius while I wait?'' she asked getting out of her car seat.

''Fine, but stay where I can see you and don't go 'round the sides or back. Got it?'' she said sternly.

''Promise'' Marie said.

Setting up her stand and canvas Lil put on her headphones and began to paint the Burrow.

''SIRIUS…SIRIUS WHERE ARE YOU?'' Marie yelled looking for her beloved dog.

Marie had promised her mum that she would stay where she could see her but right now that promise was irrelevant to the fact that she had lost her dog. Marie was currently on the side of the house yelling when she saw a tall red headed man that reminded her of her dad but younger looking. She was simply looking at the back of the tall man when he turned around.

''Hi there'' he said upon discovering the little girl standing behind him.

''Hi'' she responded as she watched him look around to figure out where she came from.

''Have you seen my dog Mr.?'' she asked.

''Uh, my name's Ron and I haven't seen a dog anywhere around here'' he said still trying to figure out where the little girl came from.

''My name is Marie and my mommy is in the front drawing and if I don't get back soon she'll notice I'm gone and get upset.'' She explained

''So your mum is in the front of the house **drawing**'' he said skeptically

''She's painting a picture of your house actually and she has headphones on so she didn't hear or see me leave'' she further explained.

''Err, okay. I'll help you find your dog and then I'll take you back to your mommy, Okay?''

''Okay'' she said happily.

''Sooo, what's your dog's name?''

''Sirius'' she said.

Meanwhile…….

''Marie, come on sweetie. I'm finished'' Lil exclaimed happily but as she looked around she found that she was very much alone and that Marie and Sirius had wandered off.

''Where could they have gone? She probably followed him to make sure he didn't do anything stupid like the last time.'' She said out loud to herself.

The last time Lil had stopped at a house to do a painting Sirius had ended up tearing his way through the owner's yard looking for gnomes and chasing their cat until he had completely destroyed their yard. It was this thought that made her notice that said dog was coming from the side of the house holding a garden gnome in its mouth.

''SIRIUS!'' she exclaimed ''Where is Marie and put that thing down this instant!'' she said irritated that the dog was paying her absolutely no attention and was more intent on keeping the gnome within its grasp.

''Why you little…'' she started until she saw the front door of the house open.

''Hello dear, do you need some help?'' said the red headed woman.

She was somewhat plump and looked o be in her middle thirties. She gave Lil a feeling of safety that she hadn't felt in any other woman than Sister Mary.

''Um, hi. My name is Lil and I'm looking for a three year old little girl. She has auburn red hair and she answers by the name of Marie. Have you seen her around?'' she asked

''No dear, I can't say that I have but if you come inside I'm sure one of my sons has found her.''

''Oh no thanks. I'm…'' she started but was stopped as the woman came off of the porch and began to coach her into the house.

''Don't worry dear you're in the right place. My name is Molly Weasley I'm Ron's mother.'' She explained politely.

''Ohh'' Lil said as the facts dawned on her. Harry had told her about the Burrow but his description didn't do it any justice. ''I didn't know this was the Burrow. Harry only gave a modest description but in real life it's beautiful. You're Ginny's mother also right and you have six sons or was Harry joking?''

''Yes I am Ginny's mother and yes I do have six sons'' Molly said chuckling as she saw the awe on Lil's face. ''Now come on dear let's go and find little Marie.''

''Err okay'' Lil said nervously. ''Sirius you stay here and if Marie comes back you come get me okay?''

The dogs' response was to look at her imploringly and lay down next to the car with the gnome till in his grasp.

''Good boy'' she said and with that she followed Mrs. Weasley into the house.

Meanwhile …

''I still can't believe you let him sleep in your bed'' Harry said shaking his head.

After finding out about his tattoo Harry and Ginny had started to talk about Quidditch and somehow had ended up talking about Rajah.

''Oh come on. Look at him he's adorable and he was a gentleman about it.'' she said grinning.

''Which basically means that he sat on your windowsill and gradually edged his way into your room''

''Why would he do that? All he did was wake me up and ask me if it was okay to sleep in my room. When I said yes he said he wouldn't bother me and he slept on the floor.'' She said shrugging.

''What's wrong with the floor in here?'' Harry asked scandalized.

''It doesn't have a woman's touch and it smells'' Rajah said

''Hey it's not my room you know''

''Now, now you two it's neither of your faults but that doesn't mean you have to argue about sleeping arrangements…'' she said with a smile tugging at her lips.

'' … and neither is your death once mum comes to check on you'' she said smiling

''Huh?''

''Shirt'' she said pointing at his chest

''Oh right'' he said and went through his shirt drawer.

''Should I wear the baby blue or grey?'' he said switching between the two shirts.

''Baby blue'' Rajah and Ginny said together

As Harry slipped into a t-shirt and his baby blue Rajah spotted his snitch boxers and nudged them into Ginny's hand.

''Wow Harry I knew you were a hardcore Qiudditch fan but these…'' she said as she stood and watched in amusement as his expression quickly changed from confusion to embarrassment.

''Where did you…''

But at that same moment he saw Rajah looking under the bed and put two and two together.

''RAJAH!! What kind of help are you if you steal my stuff and hide it!?'' Harry said while angrily wondering what else the tiger had taken from him

''Aw leave him alone Harry I like them and besides its good luck when a protector gives you someone else's shorts. I think I'll keep them.''

''WHAT! Uh uh no way you're keeping my favorite boxers.'' he said as he lunged for her

''Please Harry'' she asked as she dodged him

''I'll trade you for a pair of my best knickers'' she said as he came upon her and she put the boxers behind her back

_That should keep him from complaining_

Indeed it seemed that Harry was in such deep thought that he had actually backed up with his face full of concentration. Ginny had just put her hand on the doorknob when…

''Oh no you don't'' Harry said as he tried to pounce on her. Normally Harry wouldn't have this much trouble thanks to his Quidditch reflexes but Ginny was just as skilled as him and a little smaller.

''Please Harry it would really mean a lot to me'' she said as she put on her best puppy dog look.

_Not even mum can resist when I put it to its full potential!! She thought confidently_

Indeed Ginny would have had him. To him she was a mirror of beauty; wearing her beautiful cream sundress that complimented her skin, her breasts peeking out of the dress just so, with her luscious pink lips sticking out and her beautiful brown eyes that Harry could have drowned in if she gave him the chance. But it was while Harry took in all of these features that he noticed that she was backed against the bed and he began to form a plan. Taking a deep breath and sagging his shoulders in defeat he said ''Fine''

''EEeeee'' she wailed and gave Harry a hug. It was at this exact moment that Harry threw them both onto the bed.

''HARRY YOU EVIL LITTLE PRICK GET OFF OF ME'' Ginny screamed as she kicked with all her might while trying to put the boxers in her dress.

''Just .. give me .. my …bloody boxers… and I'll let you go'' Harry said through gritted teeth as he tried to retrieve his underwear.

''GET YOUR HAND OFF OF MY BREAST THIS INSTANT'' she yelled

''My hand isn't on your breast but if you don't hand over the goods I'm gonna…OUCH!''

''Rajah pull him off!!'' Ginny exclaimed with glee mainly due to the fact that Rajah had bitten Harry square in the ass for threatening her.

''YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ME NOT HER!!'' Harry yelled angrily as he struggled to get Rajah off of him and keep Ginny under him.

At that very moment Harry decided fair play was hell bent( seeing as it was two on one and Ginny's yelling would probably have all of the Weasleys up there and ready to kill him) so, acting completely on adrenaline and praying she didn't know how to do a wandless bat bogey hex, he wrapped his left arm up his waist and slid his right hand in her dress until…

''Harry'' Ginny said in her sweetest voice while clearly tensing underneath him.

''Yes Gin'' he answered back; his hand still moving upwards.

''What are you doing?''

''Well you said get my hand away from your breast so I thought I would have to actually get it there first'' he said with a smile in his voice.

''Why you perverted little…'' she said as she lifted up her upper body and immediately saw the mistake.

As soon as she had gotten up Harry had snaked his hand up to his boxers, caught hold of them, and began to pull them down. He thought he was home free until Ginny turned over on her back and smacked him so hard he thought she might have actually punched him.

''Get your hand out of my dress or my present to you will be showing you how to make a penis disappear'' she said in such a low voice that it scared him. But instead of listening to his conscience he did the unthinkable.

''As soon as I get my boxers I'll help you loosen up a bit, yeah?'' he said grinning

And no sooner had he said this had Ginny stuck her hand in his shorts and began to squeeze his cock so hard she made his worst erections seem meaningless.

''FUCK!!'' he yelled ''Okay, wait Gin just…DON'T.. AHH…STOP'' Harry yelled

At that exact moment Rajah stopped pulling and it wasn't until Harry heard a soft 'My goodness' that he turned around.

Standing in the door was not one but four angry Weasley males, their mother, and Lil whose expression was somewhere between shock and amusement. For a moment no one spoke and then…

MUM HE PUT HIS HAND UP MY DRESS

BUT SHE GRABBED MY PENIS AND

HE TRIED TO RAPE ME AND HE THREATENED ME

I DID NOT SHE TRIED TO STEAL MY UNDERWEAR

MUM

MRS. WEASLEY

YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME!! they finally yelled in unison.

Everyone was in shock to say the least. The twins were between laughing their asses off and giving Harry a stern thrashing; Charlie was utterly shocked and looked speechless while Bill merely shook his head. Mrs. Weasley's expression was grave she didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or yell at their antics. The room was quiet until Lil broke the silence.

''Wow you move fast'' she said sadly.

''What's that supposed to mean?'' Harry asked bewildered as he took his hand from Ginny's dress. ''Wait, Sister Mary isn't here is she?'' he asked as he tentatively tried to see past the Weasleys.

''No. And it means that as soon as I tell you I'm coming you try to break away by doing something stupid.'' she said as she crossed her arms.

''I do not'' he said casually. Lil simply clucked her tongue and put her hands on her hips.

''Lil I do not have commitment issues. Ginny is just my friend and..''

''So you put you hand up all of your friend's dresses?'' she asked angrily

''WHAT! Nooo, see what happened was Rajah took my favorite boxers and…''

''I have them'' Lil said cutting him off

''What?'' he said in disbelief

''The ones with the snitches all over them right? I have them right here'' she said as she conjured them from thin air. But before she could even touch them Rajah jumped out of nowhere, ran over to Ginny, and put the boxers in her hand making it glow a copper red.

''I hereby give Ginevra Molly Weasley these shorts for her property as good luck as appointed by myself, Rajah Percival Potter.''

By the time Rajah was done speaking the glow had disappeared but Harry knew there was no way he could get his boxers back now.

''Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that you two have been fighting over that pair of boxers this whole time and he didn't even bless them because he knew they were a fake'' she said exasperated.

''Rajah you bad boy'' Ginny said sternly.

''I just wanted to give you something nice'' he said lowering his head.

''Aww that's okay next time you can just get me flowers'' she said patting him on the head

''Oh good then 'cause you're going to love this'' he said as he went under Harry's bed and pulled out a tray of red and yellow flowers that read _I ♥ Ginevra_ . Harry simply stood in place, his feet seemingly glued to the floor. He couldn't believe Rajah had made that for Ginny. Well if he was honest with himself he could believe it but he couldn't figure out why Rajah had stashed it underneath his bed. Harry looked up to see Ginny's expression and was surprised to see she was crying.

''Gin, are you okay?'' he asked

''I'm fine it's just' she said as tears flowed down her cheeks 'this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.''

And with that she bent over and hugged and kissed Rajah. Harry didn't know what to be more amazed at. The fact that she was kissing a tiger three times her size or the fact that she was openly crying. It would have been a touching moment if Lil hadn't spoken.

''Rajah no'' she said in a stern voice.

''What's the matter he only…'' but Harry stopped mid sentence as he understood what Lil was saying no to.

''Rajah she can't be your girlfriend!'' he said angrily

But as soon as he said it he wished that he hadn't because instead of listening to him the protector moved in front of Ginny and got into his fighting stance.

''Sirius''

And within two seconds there was a blur of orange and black as the two animals fought, biting and clawing at each other. Harry wasn't even sure where the dog had come from and was unsure of what to do about the two animals. It wasn't until Rajah threw Sirius across the room that Lil hopped on his back trying to grab his collar.

''NO'' Rajah roared angrily as he rolled over and bit the red head in the arm.

''Ouch!'' she yelled as she used her extra hand to pry his jaws open

''Lil his collar'' Harry yelled in shock. Stunned everyone watched as the collar changed from blue to ruby red.

Rajah decided to let go of Lil gingerly and sat with his chest puffed out his so that everyone could read his tag. Harry crossed the room in what seemed like one stride and nearly passed out when he read the name on Rajah's new tag. Written in her own neat handwriting upon the 14k gold was Ginny's name.

''Hey Lil if Ginny is his new girlfriend how come only her name shows'' Harry asked somewhat relieved and confused.

''If only her name shows up that means that…''

''she too is now partial owner and under my protective care'' Rajah finished.

''RAJAH! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!!'' Ginny yelled

Harry watched as the animal crawled his way over to Ginny, the pride that was there a few seconds ago had vanished and was replaced by fear.

''Rajah, do you mean to tell me that you did all of this just so you could protect me?'' she seethed

''Ginny dear I'm sure he didn't mean any harm'' Mrs. Weasley tried to state; if not because she believed it but mainly because she wanted to keep her daughter calm and she could hear guests arriving downstairs and in the garden.

''Maybe I should have went about it differently'' he said tentatively ''I would have, honest , but I didn't think that **she** would come early and I was going to ask but she would have thought I was trying to enslave you as my human wife or something'' he said hurriedly

''What does he mean by enslaved human wife?'' Charlie and Bill asked in unison

''It means that once upon a time I thought I was in love with a red head girl about Ginny's age now and I made the mistake of asking her to marry me and ever since **Lil **found out she's been down my back'' he said in an annoyed tone

''Wait, so you have a wife'' Fred started

''and you're crushing on our sister?'' finished George

''I almost had a wife and **I'm** not the one crushing on your sister'' he said ''I also wasn't the one with my hand up her dress'' he added in an undertone

''HEY'' Harry exclaimed.

''Yes well as interesting as its going to be to find out whose fault it is I have to…''

CRACK!

Everyone froze and turned their attention to the middle of the room. Standing in the middle of the room was Hermione. Her eyes were red, her cheeks were streaked with tears, and she looked as if she were going to have an episode.

''Hermione what happened is someone hurt?'' Harry asked hurriedly

She merely shook her head and sat down on Ron's bed. At this Ginny got up and sat down next to her rubbing her back soothingly.

''What's wrong Hermione?'' she asked sadly

''I can't find Ron'' she wailed

A/N: Sorry about the delay but the next couple of chapters are going to take a while to post. I'd love to hear your comments about the stories and thanks to everyone who left a comment so far.


	4. Chapter 4

It was blazing hot outside, even with the trees blocking out most of the sunlight but nothing he could say was going to help him get the little red head to go back to the house. Ron was beginning to think that maybe he should have told someone that he had found the little girl and then try to help her find her dog but instead he had made the mistake of promising to help and the only thing it had done so far was get him twenty missed calls from Hermione; but it couldn't be helped. Every time Ron tried to call back little Marie would get even more upset and start to cry and the sight of it just made Ron's heart break. So now they were deep in the woods behind the Burrow looking for a big black dog on a hot summer day and all Ron could think about was whether or not Hermione had freaked out and told his mum about his tattoo or not. It wasn't until Ron noticed that Marie had stopped walking that he noticed that she was also crying and sitting on the ground.

''Hey, don't cry your dog is going to show up'' he said as soothingly as possible

''I ... want ... my... mommy'' she wailed

''Okay okay don't worry'' he said hurriedly

''How about we go to the house and get something to drink and eat and your mommy will probably be there okay?'' he said praying to Merlin that she said yes

''Do you have any pumpkin juice?'' she asked as she wiped her eyes

''Lots of it and my mum is a great cook so there should be some sandwiches to munch on''

''Okay but I don't wanna walk all the way back'' she said looking up at Ron hopefully

''Err okay then'' he said picking up the little girl and starting back the way they came.

The walk was fine with Ron other than the fact that Hermione was going to kill him and it was hot as Hades. Marie looked asleep but Ron knew better even though her breathing was even; she had complained of a headache and asked Ron to fix it but he told her that he was lousy with healing charms and that she would have to wait until they got back to the house. Now that they were back Ron noticed that everyone had possibly gone inside because the back yard was uncannily empty despite the ornate decorations and banner that read 'HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY HARRY'.

Going inside he fixed two sandwiches and two goblets of pumpkin juice. The two ate their food on the back porch and afterwards decided to go inside and find Mrs. Weasley but Marie looked like she was tired so Ron picked her up again and began to hike upstairs to find the others. It wasn't until he was halfway up the first flight of stairs that he heard guests arriving and decided to lay Marie down in his room, find Hermione and his mum and tell them what had happened.

Going over the plan in his head and deciding that this would do Ron almost didn't notice that his room door was open and there were voices and someone crying. Ron couldn't decide what to do; if he went inside he would probably find his mum or Hermione, if he didn't he could put Marie in Ginny's room and then look for his mum and come back. He was just about to ask Marie what he should do when he noticed that she was actually asleep.

_She's probably worn out from all that crying she did while we were looking for her dog _

Ron couldn't help but smile at the toddler. _Well, she's a lot more peaceful when she's asleep he thought_

His mind made up Ron walked into his room to find his entire family huddled around his bed. Harry was standing in the middle of the room and on the far end of the bed was a red headed girl that he didn't recognize.

''Why is everyone in my room?'' he asked tentatively

Everyone in the room froze upon hearing Ron's voice. They all looked at him with surprise and confusion written on their faces. Ron didn't know whether it was because he had a sleeping toddler on his shoulder or because he had asked a question that was supposed to be apparent. He was just about to ask it again when he noticed Hermione and Ginny sitting on the bed. Hermione was red eyed and looked as if she had been crying for a while.

''What's wrong Hermione?'' he asked anxiously

Instead of answering she simply looked at him as if he was a ghost.

''Hermione' he said walking across the room and kneeling down in front of her 'is everything going to be okay?''

''Ron… where have you been?'' she asked in disbelief

''Oh, I was…'' he started

''I looked everywhere for you, I called you twenty two times and **not once** did you call me back to say you were okay'' she said getting angrier with every word

''But …''

''I thought you were abducted by Death Eaters'' she said sadly

''I'm sorry but…''

''You're sorry, **YOU'RE SORRY!!**'' she shrieked ''I RUN ALL OVER LOOKING FOR YOU, CALLING YOU AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS YOU'RE SORRY!!''

''HERMIONE SHUT UP!'' Ron yelled.

It wasn't that what she had to say wasn't fair it was the fact that Marie had begun to stir and he didn't want to wake her. Ron was more surprised at the fact that Marie had only stirred instead of waking up than he was with the fact that Hermione had actually listened to him.

''Move over so I can lay her down'' he said to Ginny

''Ron what…'' Hermione started to say

She was just about to ask what he was talking about when she heard a little moan come from his shoulder. It wasn't until she noticed the little body that Ron was holding up that she understood why he had come to his room. Getting up from the bed Hermione watched as Ron gingerly laid down the little toddler on his bed, making sure that he supported her head and she wouldn't get too hot while she was asleep. The only time Hermione could think of when she had ever seen Ron concentrate this hard was when he played Quidditch or chess and it amazed her that he could look at a person that way.

Ron had just finished laying down Marie when Lil came from the end of the bed and kneeled down next to her. She had tears running down her face and was relieved to see that Marie was okay.

''Where did you find her?'' she asked quietly as she summoned a brown teddy bear wearing a skirt and put it in Marie's arms.

''She was on the side of the house looking for her dog. We went looking for it and we got tired so we came back in and ate a sandwich and had some pumpkin juice'' he said

''Are you…''

''Oh, I'm sorry. My name's Lil'' she said smiling ''Thank you so much for finding my daughter''

''Err, you're welcome'' he said shrugging

''No wanna'' Marie said as she sat up and rubbed her eyes

''Hey, don't you want to go to sleep now that we found your mum'' he said

''Mommy'' she said looking up ''MOMMY!''

''Hi'' she said grinning from ear to ear as the little girl wrapped her arms around her neck and bounced with glee.

''You found her'' she said in a little laugh

''Yeah she was in my room''

''Mommy I lost Sirius'' she said sadly turning her attention back to her mother

''Oh Sirius is fine he's right there'' she said as she turned around and looking at the big black dog sitting in the corner.

Ron also turned around and noticed that the description Marie had given him while they were looking was nothing compared to the actual size of the dog. Marie had described the dog as really, really fluffy and black; what she had failed to mention was that her dog was about as big as Fang.

''Where were you when I was calling you?'' she asked the dog

''Well, he might have been chasing a gnome because when he came back he had one in his mouth''

''I don't like you any more'' she said to the dog who was simply staring at everyone in the room. ''Mommy can I stay with Ron?'' she asked

''That depends on him. And besides I thought that you wanted to stay and play with Harry today'' she said

''I am going to play with Uncle Harry today but I want to stay with Ron Won Bonbon'' she said as she climbed out of her mother's arms and into Ron's lap.

''Uhm, sorry. Who is Ron Won Bonbon?'' Hermione asked smiling.

Fred and George were sniggering, Ginny looked like she was going to have a laughing fit, and Bill, Charlie, Harry, and Mrs. Weasley were simply smiling.

''Well I kind of got christened with a new nickname so ickleronnieckins is out of the question'' he said looking at Fred and George.

''Oh of course it is Ronnie'' Fred said

''We wouldn't want to upset your new girlfriend now would we?'' George howled

''BOYS!'' yelled Mrs. Weasley

But Ron wasn't paying them any attention. As soon as Fred had started talking Marie had gotten a hurt look on her face and he was afraid that she was going to cry.

''Hey shut up and leave her alone'' Ron said

''Aw come on we were only kidding'' the twins said

''I don't care. You two idiots need to grow up and I swear if she starts crying I'm going to beat the crap out of you two'' Ron said menacingly

''Oh don't worry if she cries Rajah and Sirius will take care of them for you'' Lil said in a matter -of – fact tone

''Ron if you've been with Marie this whole time why didn't you pick up your phone?'' Hermione asked

Ron simply looked at Marie who looked at the ground and back up again.

''Marie'' Lil said in a stern tone

''It's not my fault'' she said quickly

''Uh huh''

''It's not; he said he would help me look for Sirius and the phone kept ringing and he kept stopping to try and pick it up'' she said quickly as she crossed her arms over her chest

''But she kept calling me!'' Ron said exasperated

''Then you should have texted your bossy girlfriend and told her you were in the back yard'' she said matter- of - factly

''I don't know how to text and I only make calls by saying the person's name'' Ron said frustratingly

''Then you shouldn't have a phone if you can't use it properly to contact your girlfriend'' she said haughtily

''But… wait did you just call her my girlfriend?'' Ron asked as he noticed the twins gaping between him and Hermione and that Hermione had her head in her hands as Mrs. Weasley congratulated her.

''Yes I called the bushy haired brunette who called you about a bazillion times your girlfriend'' she said

''She's not my girlfriend'' Ron said

''Aw, really. You two would make a cute couple and I would recommend acting like a couple for today if you don't want to get molested'' she said casually

''Uh…''

''Don't tell me you brought the wrath of the she – devil with you'' Harry said

''Yeah, about that.'' Lil said uncomfortably ''The nuns ruled that since she doesn't get to leave the Abbey as much as the other children that she should be allowed to come'' Lil explained

''But she does leave the Abbey. And besides she only doesn't leave because she doesn't want to go out with the little kids'' Harry said frustratingly

''I tried to tell them but they said she has to leave at some point''

''Yeah well I think coming from every bed in France is enough traveling experience for her'' Harry said grumpily ''Bringing evil whores to my party like I don't have enough to deal with just worrying about death; now I have to worry about getting raped too!'' Harry said in an undertone just loud enough so that everyone could hear

''Oh, Harry you might want to make sure everyone has a protective female around or else'' Lil said looking at all of the Weasleys

''What's that supposed to mean?'' Charlie asked threateningly

''It means if you have a girlfriend keep her close and if not stick to someone who loves the hell out of you because you're going to need it'' Harry explained

''Well, I better go find Fleur then'' Bill said and made his way for the door

''You know Fleur Delacour?'' Lil said impressed

''She's my wife'' Bill said proudly

''My sister knows her but the whore has problems with her. You might want to watch yourself.''

''I'll keep that in mind'' Bill said and with that he left to go find Fleur

''Well we brought dates'' George said

''Yeah. We got Angelina and Alicia coming with us'' Fred said

''I thought they were your girlfriends'' Charlie said

''Yeah, well…'' Fred started

''We've been so busy with the shop we haven't had time to take them out…'' George explained

''So it's kind of like being back at square one'' Fred finished

''Besides, our women love us enough to protect us with their lives'' George said with assurance

''Until you piss them off that is'' Ginny said

''Then they'll try to take your lives'' Charlie said grinning

''Whatever'' the twins said in unison and left the room

''Oh, Charlie dear you did bring a date didn't you?'' Mrs. Weasley asked

''Yes mum I brought a date but I have to go pick her up from the hotel so I'll be back in a few'' Charlie said as he kissed his mother on the check and left too.

''Well, that leaves the birthday boy'' Lil said looking at Harry disapprovingly

''Wait, what about Ron?'' Harry said as he pointed at his best mate

''What about him?''

''He has to get hooked up with someone'' Harry said matter-of-factly

''I don't have to be psychic to know he'll spend most of the day either with Marie or Hermione; meaning you need to get hooked up'' Lil said

''Fine'' Harry said stubbornly

''Why don't you just call..''

''We're not talking about this right now'' Harry said quickly as he cut her off

''Whatever'' she said grumpily ''Mrs. Weasley could I use your bathroom to change? I kind of need to wash up.''

''Of course dear. The bathroom is two flights down and there are fresh towels if you need them''

''What do you need to change for?'' Harry asked as he critiqued her clothing. When he had seen her at first he hadn't paid attention to what she had been wearing but now that he looked closely he saw that she had on an old pair of his shorts and a t-shirt that was covered in fresh paint.

''Don't tell me you left without telling Sister Mary and then decided to go painting'' he said

''What do you care?'' Lil said in a hurt tone and left the room

''Marie'' he said as he turned around ''I need you to tell me what happened between mommy and nana''

''Mommy and nana got into an argument after coming back from one of the conferences. So mommy left and I fell asleep and when I woke up we were here'' Marie explained

''What were they fighting about?'' Harry asked, amazed that Lil and Sister Mary would get into an argument with one another. Instead of answering Marie looked him straight in the eye and he knew the answer immediately.

''I need to go talk to her before things get out of hand'' Harry sighed. He couldn't believe he hadn't seen this earlier. No wonder she had gotten pissed at him when she saw him with Ginny. Leaving the room he went down the two flights of stairs and knocked on the bathroom door.

''Can we talk?'' he asked tentatively

''Go away Harry I'm not in the mood'' she responded

''I didn't want to do this'' he said as he pulled out his wand. But before he could perform the charm the door opened and Lil let him in. Sitting on top of the sink she waited to hear what he had to say.

''Look I'm sorry about whatever trouble I caused between you and Sister Mary but you have to tell her sooner or later'' Harry said

''She already knows about the tests and why we took them''

''Then why were you two fighting?''

''We're both stressed'' she said as she got up from the sink and sank to the floor. Harry followed her lead. ''Mum's stressed because she's trying to keep this a secret from the other nuns and I'm stressing over the test results and where I'm going to live and how I'm going to support myself and Marie''

''Hey'' he said wrapping his arm around her waist ''the tests are going to come back positive and we're going to be a family. As far as the nuns who cares about them and I told you already you can come and live with me'' he said reassuringly. But Lil only nodded her head and didn't say a word. ''Hey, look at me'' he said putting two fingers under her chin. ''We are going to get through this no matter what okay?''

''Okay'' she said looking into his emerald green eyes. And before they even thought about it they were kissing each other tenderly on the lips. Soft, slow kisses that held promises they would hold onto until death.

''We should probably get going'' Harry whispered, their foreheads still touching.

''Okay'' she whispered back into his shoulder. It wasn't until Ron came and knocked on the door that they broke apart and left the bathroom.

''Mum told me to make sure the birthday boy and girl didn't get into a row and ruin their own party'' Ron explained, looking anxiously between the two.

''It's okay Ron we worked everything out'' Harry said grinning

''Oh, good'' he said letting out a huge breath ''The coast is clear! You guys can come down now'' he yelled up the stairs. A few seconds later Hermione, Ginny, and Marie came down the stairs.

''Why did you guys stay upstairs?'' Harry asked slightly confused

''To give you more yelling space'' Marie said

''Well as nice as that was we didn't need it'' Lil said grinning at Marie

''Mommy that's not the outfit nana said she was going to give you'' Marie said ''I like the skirt though''

''Yes, well I don't think she'll make any objections''

''Yeah, well why don't we go out back and get to know some of the guests'' Harry suggested. Everyone agreed and went downstairs. Harry and Lil walked hand in hand with Ron carrying Marie, and Hermione and Ginny taking up the rear. When they got out back Ron noticed that the yard was much livelier than it had been when he and Marie were there last. Now that people were outside the decorations and ornate settings looked even more welcoming. Ron noticed Seamus and Dean talking to Lavender and Parvarti and made a mental note to avoid them so long as they were in Lavender's company who for the most part shot him a nasty look and acted as if he didn't exist. He also noticed Neville and Luna having an animated chat about something near the punch bowl while Kingsley and Mad-Eye observed the crowd.

Harry had now put his arm around Lil's waist and steered her towards the two Aurors. While Harry introduced Lil Ron decided to go talk to Neville and Luna.

''Hi Neville, Luna'' he said as he approached them.

''Hello Ronald'' Luna said in her dreamlike voice ''Who's your little friend?''

''Oh, this is Marie. Marie these are my good mates Neville and Luna.''

''Hello'' Marie said smiling at the two teens

''Is she your little cousin?'' Neville asked

''No she's with Lil'' Ron said nodding over to where Harry and Lil were deep in conversation with Kingsley.

''She's going to adopt me'' Marie added

''Harry's going to be a dad?'' Neville asked bewildered ''We haven't even finished school yet''

''Who's he having a baby with?'' Marie asked

''Aren't your mommy and Harry dating?'' Ron asked

''Eeww, he's my uncle not my daddy that's gross'' Marie said making a face

''What's gross?'' Harry asked as he and Lil walked over

''What happens to a nurgle puff when it mates'' Luna said quickly

''I don't even want to know'' he said ''Ron we need to talk. Alone''

''Err, okay'' he said giving Marie to Lil and following Harry

They walked all the way down to the lake and even then Harry had to make sure that they weren't going to be overheard. ''Okay, I just wanted to tell you what happened before anybody else gave you the wrong info'' he said hurriedly

''I already know about Ginny and Rajah trying to steal your shorts mate''

''When did you find out?''

''When you and Lil were in the bathroom Ginny explained it because she went and had Rajah stash them for her'' he said ''But while we're sharing info you should know that Hermione knows''

''Hermione knows?''

''SHE KNOWS'' Ron said while pointing to his chest

''But how did she find out?'' Harry said panicking

''She cornered me in the bathroom after I took a shower'' he said ''but she promised she wouldn't tell as long as I did whatever she told me to''

''So basically she's going to make you her slave'' he said thinking ''How long does this last for?''

''Uh…''

''You didn't set up any type of time agreement'' Harry said exasperated

''Well…'' he said scratching his head ''What's the worst that could happen?''

''You looked didn't you?'' Harry said staring Ron in the eye

''It was right there and they were calling me and she said she wouldn't tell mum so I just went with it'' he said suddenly ashamed of himself

''Yeah, okay'' Harry said sighing ''Maybe I can get Ginny to work out something for us''

''Ginny? What good can she do?''

''She knows about my tattoo and unlike Hermione she didn't threaten to tell on us''

''Yeah well she's going to want you to do something for her mark my words'' he said warningly ''she takes after Fred and George and they don't do anything unless they get something in return''

''Yeah well it can't be as bad as being made a slave''

''I'm not a slave. I'm a really good, caring friend'' he said

''Who does whatever she says and follows her every whim'' Harry finished

So far things had gone great at the party. Everyone was having fun and Lil fit right in. Sister Mary had come a little after Ron and Harry's talk with her husband John and six red heads. They each took turns introducing themselves to everyone while Sister Mary and Lil went inside to talk. When they came back out they were both smiling and Harry was glad to see that the stress from earlier had disappeared. Harry was also glad to find that his favorite five had been able to come to the party.

The first two were Tijuana and Timesha the cousins who often got mistaken for twins. Both were the same height, age, and had the same hair color. The only way Harry told them apart was their eye color. Tijuana's eyes were blue and Timesha's eyes were brown. Next was Jessica, a timid girl who sometimes resembled a young Ginny in her actions. She was short, with crimson red hair and cobalt blue eyes and Harry found that when he just wanted to sit in silence Jessica was a nice companion. After her was Melanie. Melanie was the complete opposite of Jessica and Harry found it hard to believe they were the best of friends. Where Jessica was short Melanie was tall, while one was quiet the other was loud and boisterous. It was what Lil called the Ying yang effect. Two people exactly opposite of one another getting along in perfect harmony. Harry had only wished he could get Ron and Hermione to embrace Ying yang so he could have some peace and quiet.

And his last favorite was Victoria. She was the oldest out of the six and was like a big sister to Lil. She was nice and had a motherly effect on Harry. She was about the same height as Harry, as smart as Hermione, and just as fun loving and hot tempered as Ron.

After many introductions and gawping from the males (Harry and Lil had forgot to mention that Victoria was part veela) everyone broke up into groups. It wasn't until Harry looked closely that he noticed that all of the women had sat on the back porch in the shade while the men had opted for the back wall of the yard which had probably been done on purpose seeing as Fred and George had started ribbing Ron for dating Lavender and giving detailed descriptions of how good looking Hermione had gotten.

''Honestly Ron how do you always manage to get her pissed off at you and then expect her to forgive you just like that?!'' George said snapping his fingers. The other males simply nodded their agreement while Kingsley, Moody, and John feigned ignorance.

''He's got a point Ron'' Seamus said ''Me mam told me that if you want a woman to love you you've got to know their rules'' he explained as he sipped his pumpkin juice

''Oh yeah, what are these rules then?'' Ron challenged. Harry wasn't sure what it was but he swore that he had seen all of the women look at him out of the corner of his eye.

''Well I can tell you one'' Moody said piping up before Seamus could say anything ''It's not exactly a rule but it could save you from death'' he said jerking his head in Hermione's direction

''She wouldn't go so far as kill me'' Ron said indignantly

''Didn't she set canaries out on you boy?'' Moody said looking at Ron with his magical eye. Ron simply busied himself with his goblet and mumbled something incoherent under his breath. ''That's what I thought. My pointer to you is try showing interest in something that she likes. She'll know you're interested and it'll make her happy'' he finished. The other men nodded their consent

''He's right Ron. I acted interested in something Fleur liked and afterwards…'' he said, his ears turning pink as their father joined them. ''Anyway, even if you're not interested in something that she is just try listening to her''

''Yeah Ronnie even you can't screw that up'' Fred said grinning.

''What I want to know'' Dean said impatiently, coming out of his silence ''is when the two of you are going to hook up''

''What's it to you?'' Ron said eyeing his dorm mate

''Oh nothing'' Dean said shrugging ''I just had a sure fire way to get Hermione to kiss you''

At this everyone including Mr. Weasley looked at Ron to see if he was going to take the bait. Harry wondered whether or not Ron would actually do it or not. If Dean thought that he had a way for Hermione to definitely kiss Ron then honestly he was all for it.

''No'' Ron said finally, surprising everyone including himself ''I can get her to kiss me and date me on my own, thank you very much'' he said puffing his chest out in pride.

''Good man Ron'' Charlie said patting his brother on the back. The other men gave a toast to Ron and prayed to Merlin and Godric that whatever he had planned wouldn't backfire and get him killed.

''What I want to know'' Ron said as he put down his goblet and put an arm around Harry's shoulder ''is why we haven't ribbed Harry yet about the lovely Lil. She's a nice girl and all but I'd like to know more details, and nothing in the book says you can't tease a man on his birthday'' he added as Harry tried to interject

''Yeah Harry how long have you two been going together?'' Charlie asked ''She seemed real upset earlier when she saw you and Ginny goofing off ''

''I think he got off easy'' Bill said menacingly ''I would have hexed your balls off just seeing you two the way you were'' The other brothers smiled grimly.

''Oh come on. From the way he was yelling I think Ginny was winning the battle'' George laughed when he saw Harry flinched and instinctively grab his willie ''I want to know if French girls are as skilled at the sixty nine as they say they are'' he said winking at Bill who blushed.

''Look you guys. I feel like I should tell you straight up'' Harry said looking at all of the expectant faces ''She's not my girlfriend, we're not dating, and we haven't had sex''

''Quit playing us'' Fred said. But Harry only looked at them all gravely and said nothing. "You're serious" he added when Harry's demeanor didn't change. "Alright then just to make sure you're not pulling one on us, Ron, Bill hold him. I'm gonna find out for myself and if you're lying " he said looking Harry directly in the eye "I'm gonna show you how a penis disappears" he finished repeating the same threat Ginny had said earlier.

Everyone watched as Fred walked boldly and briskly over to where the women were. Upon reaching them he bowed and began talking in earnest. Twice he indicated towards where the men all sat on the back wall and chairs grinning broadly.

"You know Harry" piped Neville "if she really isn't your girlfriend you two sure are close"

"What do you mean?" Kingsley asked, drawing his attention away from Fred who was whispering something in Lil's ear.

"Well I wasn't spying or anything" he said getting flustered as all the men looked at him with earnest "but every time you two were together you were holding hands and cuddling and I thought I saw her kiss you on the lips once too"

"Well yeah. But in France that's normal" Harry said shrugging.

"You're not serious" Bill said incredulously

"If their like real good friends, yeah" Harry replied "But they don't really do it all that much anymore" he added hastily as Bill looked anxiously at Fleur.

"Well" Fred said scaring nearly everyone "he's telling the truth. Apparently she thinks of you as more of a brother than a lover" he said shaking his head. "Honestly, what kind of brother kisses his sister?!"

"Yeah well maybe I'm just a really good brother" Harry said smiling, as he noticed that Lil was looking at him and smiling too.

"Fine then. But tell me this: How did you survive with a part veela hanging around the entire time?"

"What'd you tell her your occupation was?" Harry said laughing

"Minister of Bloody Magic and ex head of Game Regulations Department" he grumbled "I even bowed down to her" he said, disgusted with himself.

"What did Alicia say?" Ron asked cautiously remembering fourth year.

"Nothing yet but I'm gonna get an earful when we go home" he said glumly

"Well" Harry said scratching his head "I guess I was just too caught up in Lil to notice"

"Lucky you" Fred replied glumly "Oh yeah Hermione wants you Ron" he said cheering up as he gave her the news

"What did she want?" he asked cautiously

"Didn't say" Fred replied scratching his head "All she did say was that you would know to come or else"

At this Harry and Ron both exchanged looks. It wasn't like Hermione to be so brass when she had something that she could hold over you.

"You'd better go see what she wants mate" Harry said gravely, patting Ron on the back.

"Why don't you come with me" Ron said hopefully "that way she can't be too hard on me"

"I don't -"

"RON" Hermione yelled from across the yard

"HARRY" Lil and Ginny yelled "COME HERE"

"COMING " the boys yelled in unison

"Looks like you two are being summoned" said Mr. Weasley "Better not keep them waiting" he said noticing that all of the women were looking at them expectantly.

"Yeah, women don't like waiting and they don't look too happy" George piped.

"Fine" Ron grumbled "Come on Harry"

As the two boys slowly made their way towards the women they both decided to put on their strong faces and be brave. Their plan worked until Hermione took Ron by the hand and led him into the kitchen as soon as they approached.

"But-" Harry spluttered as Ron was dragged away.

"Harry come here" Lil said sweetly. Looking around at all of the women Harry edged his way over to where Lil was sitting.

"Why are you so tense" she teased, rubbing his muscles "nothings going to happen to you I just wanted to talk to you"

"I don't feel very comfortable talking right now" Harry said slowly as he looked at all of the women "I think I'd rather go see what Ron and Hermione are up to"

Just as Harry finished his sentence Ron and Hermione reappeared from the kitchen. Hermione took her seat next to Ginny while Ron stood nimbly by the door, his face as red as Harry could ever remember.

"Are you okay mate?" Harry asked

"Huh… oh I'm…I'm okay" he said as he came out of his stupor. The girls giggled while Hermione simply acted as if nothing had happened. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" Ron asked hurriedly as he began to wheeze and ran into the kitchen without another word. Harry, not fully understanding what was going on and not really caring followed his best mate into the kitchen without another thought.

Upon entering the kitchen Harry was only half surprised to find that Ron was nowhere in site and decided to check the living room. Ron was pacing the floor in a circle looking extremely harried about something.

'_Wonder what's gotten his knickers all bunched up' Harry thought sadly_

"Ron" he started cautiously "are you…"

"You were right" Ron said cutting him off "I was soo stupid. How could I possibly think that she would keep everything mellow" he said as he sat down on the sofa, rocking back and forth

"You two were only in here for about two minutes. What could she have possibly said that has you this worked up" Harry asked, becoming genuinely worried

"Well" Ron said, pulling himself together "she wants me to act as her boyfriend"

"And…" Harry said waiting for the gruesome part

"Harry I have no idea how to be her boyfriend!" he said while trying to understand why his best mate wasn't seeing the downside of all of this.

"I thought you said you called her four times a day while she was away?!" Harry stated

"Don't remind me" he said putting his head between his knees "her dad hates me now because of all those phone calls"

"Well if you called her as much as you said then you should be able to do just fine" Harry stated matter of factly

"There's something that I need to tell you" Ron began

"I was right and Hermione really is a bisexual" Harry said quickly

"No. And will you get off the whole 'Hermione's bi' thing please it's annoying" he said heatedly. Harry simply held his hands up in defeat.

"If I tell you what I'm about to tell you, you have to swear not to bring it back up to anyone" Ron said staring into the other boys eyes intensely.

"I swear I won't tell" Harry said quickly. For a moment Ron simply looked at him deeply and then finally spoke.

"Over the summer I would call Hermione about four times a day because she didn't want Errol to get hurt and her parents didn't want an owl constantly flying in and out of their house or from wherever they were traveling from" Ron started slowly "and everything was okay until her dad decided that I was talking to her too much. So instead of listening to her dad she started calling at like midnight and two in the morning."

"Hermione called you at two in the morning to ask about your day?" Harry said thinking he may have been confounded.

"Trust me that was my reaction too at first. But she was genuinely concerned and so we talked and would hang up around five just as mum and dad were waking up. But … one night we're talking and she's eating pudding and slips it down her cleavage and she's all sensuous and moaning and saying how good it tastes that I say something like 'how's it taste'. The next thing I know we're talking about what it's like to lick pudding off of your breast and then we're having fone sex!!" he finished "And even though it was over that stupid muggle contraption it was way better than wanking alone"

"Ron this is very .. erm... educating" Harry said as he processed the last of Ron's words "but how does this make it hard for you to act like her boyfriend"

"Because" he said coming out of his bliss "that was then. What if I try to put my hand on her thigh because I start to think about what she said? What if I go too far?" he said becoming slightly hysterical.

"You two haven't talked about it, have you?" Harry said slowly

"The most I brought up about it was when I pulled her to the side and asked her what a dido was. She just blushed and said that I shouldn't talk about what happened between us" Ron said.

"Um, Ron did you just say dido or dildo?"

"I think it is the second one" Ron said after thinking about it "Why do you know what it is?"

"Yeah it's a rubber or plastic version of a guy's cock that vibrates or lights up. Girls usually use it to get off when they don't have a guy to take care her needs for her" Harry explained "But why would you ask Hermione something like that?"

"I think she was using one while we were having sex an I was telling her how I would give it to her" Ron said, his voice getting lower as he kept talking.

"T.M.I. that is not something that I wanted to hear" Harry said disgusted

"What isn't something that you wanted to hear?" Hermione asked as she entered the living room.

A/N: Sorry about the delay, I'm running a little off track with my writing schedule. I know many of you will have problems with the whole Marie talking about whores thing but in my mind they tell you about these things at a young age to prevent you from doing the same and going to hell. But if you have any questions or comments hit me up; I love to hear from you guys.

P.S. This may be the last chapter until about january. Sorry for the cliff hanger but your waiting wont be in vain!! (I PROMISE!)


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter is just a prelude. It contains the female's conversation during the party. I'd like to give a big thanks to everyone who has read my story and an even bigger thanks to everyone who has left a review. The next 2 chapters will be up before Xmas I promise!

The women all sat in the shade talking animatedly. Mrs. Weasley was extremely happy that the party was going off with a bang. Everyone got along fabulously and she was extremely pleased to find out that she had a lot in common with Sister Mary.

"How did you meet John?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"Well, it happened at a club" she started, "I was supposed to be on assignment but somehow I got distracted by this tall, redheaded man who just would not take his eyes off of me"

"He was checking you out?" Lil asked excitedly. She had never heard this story and the other girls were just as interested in hearing how they met.

"More like, observing, to say the least" she stated, "but after finally getting some nerves he came and asked me to dance, we had a few drinks, and he walked me home. Afterwards we were hardly ever apart."

"Mum, I love the story but, didn't you say that drinking is bad for you and one should always have a clear head when dealing with men." Lil said grinning.

"Don't get smart, dear child" Sister Mary retorted.

"Well, while we're sharing how we met how about one of you share" said Mrs. Weasley.

There was a silence amongst the women that Hermione hadn't seen since they had all arrived. Each of them were busying themselves with their drinks or looking to the sky for answers. The only other people who weren't looking shy or put out by Mrs. Weasley's words were Ginny and Roxanne. Ginny, like Hermione, was observing the women with absolute shock. Roxanne on the other hand was transfixed on the men. As Hermione followed her line of site she was enraged to see that she was looking at Ron as if he were a piece of steak.

The two women made eye contact for a mere second and then Roxanne went into a deep thought. Hermione was just about to say something when Roxanne suddenly spoke, wearing an evil Cheshire cat smile on her face.

"Well," she said, drawing attention to herself "I don't really have a loved one but I can say that if I were to have one it would have to be Ronald and we would have met here."

As she finished her statement she turned to Hermione with a challenge in her eyes. Hermione simply returned the glare, having challenged Ron for so many years with the same look, with ease.

"Well" Hermione replied sweetly "that would be…impossible, to say the least."

"And why, exactly, would that be?" Roxanne asked her face turning into an ugly glare.

"Because he's already taken" she replied brazenly.

"By who?" Roxanne asked incredulously. And then it dawned on her and Hermione couldn't help but smirk with satisfaction as the witch put two and two together. "YOU!" she gasped, "He's dating you! You're the girlfriend that he said was overprotective?"

Hermione simply smiled. She had completely forgotten about Mrs. Weasley and the others until she heard a squeal from her right. Before she could fully turn around she saw a flash of red as she was engulfed into a tight bear hug by Mrs. Weasley. Across from her Lil was grinning from ear to ear and Tijuana and Timesha were giggling. She had been so busy looking at everyone's expression she almost didn't hear Mrs. Weasley's question.

"When did this happen?" Mrs. Weasley gushed.

"Um, a couple of weeks ago I guess."

"How, dear, how? Tell us everything!" she exclaimed.

"Well", Hermione started "Harry gave us each a cell phone before we got off of the train so that we could keep in touch. Ron called me the next day and asked me how I was doing and what was going on in my house. At first I thought Harry had asked him to check up on me occasionally but he called every day at the same time. Needless to say we talked for a while and then would hang up until the next day. But…my dad didn't like that I spent so much time in the phone so I called Ron and told him that I would call him from now on. And so I would call him when I was able to be out on my own or when I was away from my parents. We became very…close afterwards."

Hermione finished her story with an airy sort of tone and had to pull herself from the past in order to focus. Mrs. Weasley's eyes were shining with tears and Ginny, Lavender, and Pavarti had awed expressions on their faces. Roxanne on the other hand was livid with anger and her expression reminded her of Bellatrix Lestrange.

"That doesn't make him your boyfriend!" Roxanne snapped "It wasn't as if you two had phone sex or something!"

Hermione's face went flush and she was about to counter with a very nasty retort when Sister Mary interjected.

"Roxanne! That is enough out of you!" she said, her sweet, motherly tone lost. "Excuse yourself"

Roxanne did as she was told and left the circle. Sister Mary apologized for her and left behind her. There was silence for about three seconds when Tijuana blurted out "Did you know that Harry can sing and dance?"

"What?" Hermione, Lavender, Pavarti, and Mrs. Weasley said in unison.

"I've known him for six years and I've never heard him sing before!" Hermione said in shock.

"There's no way Harry can dance. He was a lousy date at the Yule Ball and he refused to set one foot on the dance floor." Pavarti said with conviction while Lavender nodded her agreement.

"It's true though." Tijuana said "Ask Lil she'll tell you."

The women all turned to Lil expectantly awaiting her answer. She sighed and simply nodded her head. At this all the girls turned and looked at Harry incredulously. But Lil had a sad far-away look in her eyes and Mrs. Weasley noticed it immediately.

"What's wrong dear?" she inquired "You look a little love sick."

Lil's cheeks turned pink and a small smile played across her face. "It's nothing really" she said quietly, bowing her head.

"She broke up with her boyfriend" Melanie stated sadly.

"We **did not** break up," Lil replied heatedly "we just had a really big fight and we're spending time away from each other."

"There's no need to fret then dear. When he's calmed down he'll come around." Mrs. Weasley said affectionately.

"And besides a wise woman once told me 'No man or woman is worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry'. So if he's really worth it then he won't have you shooting water out of you like a hydrant."

"I guess you're right then" Lil said perking up "I haven't cried since he left"

"I've been worried" she added when her friends looked at her in surprise "but I haven't cried about it really."

"Do you know where he is?" Hermione asked.

"Well, no but I checked his house and it hadn't looked like he had moved. He probably just needed time away."

"I still say that this has been the longest fight you two have ever had and you're both being stubborn. He has to be able to trust and believe you when you tell him that Harry isn't interested in you." Tijuana said with conviction.

"I think the reason we were fighting is exactly what you said" Lil said with a small smile, "Harry **isn't** interested in me; if he were Charlie would probably feel better"

"Men are confusing" Ginny said sadly.

"Its how they are. I'm pretty sure they think the same thing about us!" Hermione said

"Ugh! What do you want Fred?!" Ginny exasperated as her brother approached

"I just need to have a little chat with Lil ladies" George said as he smiled winningly at the women.

"And what exactly would you like to speak to her about?" Victoria said as she mirrored George

"Important stuff milady!" he said, bowing "As Minister of Bloody Magic and ex head of the Game Regulations Department I think I have a right to question all members of the Wizarding community!"

The women snickered behind their hands while Angelina simply glared at her boyfriend.

"Well then, Minister. By all means don't let me stop you!"

"Kind as ever milady!" George said as he moved towards Lil and began to whisper in her ear.

"Eew!! No!" she exclaimed. "Harry is like a brother to me not a lover! That's disgusting!"

"Well then the bloke was being honest! Thank you ladies" he said as he retreated.

"Oh, George!! Can you tell Ron to come here please?" Hermione said

"Sure thing. What for?"

"Oh… he'll know to come or else" she said as she grinned.

"Uh ..ok"

And they watched him retreat to the group of men on the lawn.

"I hope my son wasn't rude dear" Mrs. Weasley said

"Oh no. It's fine Mrs. Weasley honest" Lil said

"Ugh what is taking him so long!" Hermione said huffily

"Ooh let's get Harry to come over too!" Melanie suggested

"Ok" Lil and Ginny said

"RON!" Hermione yelled

"HARRY! COME HERE!!" Ginny and Lil chorused

"COMING!!" they cried in unison.

The women watched as they made their way over to them; their slow arrival and anxious faces signaling their fear.

A/N: I'd like to thank my friend Maya for the quote and all the people who have been following this story so far. I know I'm mean to have a cliffhanger after being gone for soooo long but I promise it will be worth your while!


	6. Chapter 6

The room was silent between the trio as Hermione repeated her question, "What isn't something that you wanted to hear?"

"Nothing", Ron said quickly "just guy stuff."

"Yeah, guy stuff." Harry said reassuringly.

Hermione simply looked between the two. She had the distinct feeling that they were lying or hiding something from her. She focused on Ron closely. His posture was anything but calm and Hermione could tell they were definitely hiding something because of Ron's signature red ears. She grinned to herself.

_If I can get the two of them separated I can get the answers out of Ron using our little deal _she thought. _I have been hanging out with Ginny waaay too much. I'm becoming just as devious and conniving as she is. _

"Hermione" Harry said. "Did you hear anything that I just said?"

"Oh, sorry Harry what were you saying?"

"I was asking whether you came to get us for something" Harry said.

"There's a Healer outside to see you" Hermione said swiftly, taking in Harry's reaction to her words.

"What did he want?"

"Umm something about test results. Is there something we need to know Harry?"

"We'll figure that out in a minute" he said as he left the living room and went outside.

With Harry gone Ron began to look everywhere but at Hermione and she noticed it. _He's soooo hiding something from me!_

"Ron" she said sweetly "what were you and Harry talking about before I came in?"

"You know…..guy stuff" he said finding sudden interest in the chair next to him.

"Really? I would hate to find out that you were lying to me because then I would have to tell your mother about your little secret" she said as she stood in front of him.

Ron's face had gone pale as she was talking and as soon as she said that the deal would be broken he looked deathly. Hermione was noticing these things as she also noticed that her pulse had quickened with each step she took and she felt as if she was on fire. The feeling was exhilarating and scary all at once and she didn't want it to stop.

"Last chance Ron" she said as she directed his attention upon herself "What…were..you..talking..about?"

Ron visibly gulped and Hermione congratulated herself on the inside knowing that she had craked him open. "Now…don't get mad" he began hesitantly "But I kind of told Harry about what we talked about in the kitchen."

"When I told you to act as my boyfriend…"

"Yea. And then we started talking about how I was supposed to act and……" he trailed off

"AND…."

"I kinda told Harry about us having phone sex and you using a dildo" he mumbled hurriedly "But I didn't mean too!!" he added upon seeing the rage in Hermione's eyes.

"Ronald Weasley!!" she screeched. Ron immediately tried to find shelter behind the chair but Hermione, in her rage, was too quick and yanked him by the front of his shirt. "Do you mean to tell me that Harry knows _intimate details_ of our summer activities!!"

Ron simply nodded.

"WHAT COULD POSSIBLY POSESS YOU TO TELL HIM SUCH THINGS?!" Hermione was beyond outraged, Ron realized. She was hysterical! He had to do something….fast.

"Well he was asking about our phone calls and what not because I told him you wanted me to act like your boyfriend I have no idea to do that because we've never really talked about our past developments! And I really want to be good at it because I really _really_ like you Hermione…I mean ok so I know there's a chance you may only be doing this because I kept bothering you but I would love to have a smart, sexy witch like you be my girlfriend and….GODS I'm probably desperately in love with you if I haven't already fallen in love with you and….."

"BREATHE RON BREATHE!!" she yelled as she let go of his shirt and guided him to a chair.

"Please tell me this at least has the potential to turn into something more and not just a part of the blackmail. If it is I can handle it but tell me now. How do you feel about me? Us? Together?" he said as he looked at the floor.

There was silence as Hermione tried to process everything Ron had just said. Was this how it felt when she went off about things like S.P.E.W to Ron and Harry? It was too much to take in. He had said he was in love with her! So many things were running through her head at the moment but she had only one thing she really wanted to say.

"Ron I have been in love with you since you hit a troll in the head using the very spell you mocked me for correcting you about!! How could you possibly think otherwise?" she said, tilting his head upward and kissing him soundly on the lips.

"Really?" he said as a goofy grin spread on his face.

"Yes really. You don't have to worry about this being a fling or not acting like the perfect boyfriend" she said as she sat on his lap. "I only threatened you fertility, manhood, and secret so that you would act like my boyfriend because I really wanted you to _be_ my boyfriend."

"So…you threatened me to be your boyfriend through black mail because you want me to be your boyfriend in reality?" he said scratching his head.

"Yes" she sighed "pretty childish isn't it?"

Ron grunted. "Sounds like something I'd expect from Ginny."

Hermione merely rolled her eyes as Ron was deep in thought. _I could get used to this_ she thought as she snuggled further into his lap and he wrapped his arm around her.

"So does this mean you're my girlfriend?" he finally asked.

"That depends"

"On what?!"

"Are you asking me to be your girlfriend or are you asking whether or not our situation makes me your girlfriend?" she said haughtily.

Ron merely chuckled. "Hermione Jane Granger will you be my girlfriend?" he said softly as he kissed her on the forehead.

"Yes I will. As long as you never discuss the intimate details of our relationship with Harry or your brothers ever again"

"But how am I going to get advice about stuff?" he asked.

"Honestly Ron! It's bad enough you told Harry about this summer what could you possibly need help with that you'll have to give him details about our relationship?!"

"Err..well..when you put it that way I wouldn't want to ask anyone but really what if I'm not sure about something?"

"We will discuss it in an appropriate manner when that time comes"

"Ok" he said.

"Ron"

"Yeah Hermione?"

"You're still in hot water for telling Harry"

"Er…"

Harry hurried outside as he heard Hermione begin to interrogate Ron about their previous conversation. _Good Luck mate_ he thought sadly.

Just outside the door he saw that the men and women had gathered around the middle of the yard. Bill and Charlie gave Harry questioning looks as he approached the group while everyone else's attention was on the young medi wizard who had come to see Harry.

"Hello Agustus" Harry said as he approached the man and shook his hand.

"Hello Harry. So sorry to interrupt your get together but you said you wanted the results as soon as they came in and I have them here for you" he said holding up a folder.

"What are the results for?" George asked as he eyed the folder with a gleam in his eye.

"Yea" piped up Fred "Harry isn't ill is he? Maybe gone and got too friendly while he was in France and got ... infected with something?" he said shooting a glance at his mother as he said it.

"Nothing like that guys I'm perfectly healthy and disease free" Harry chuckled.

"Well then what the bloody hell is in the folder?!" Charlie thundered.

"William! Language!" Molly reprimanded.

"Well before anyone gets to see the results I'll need both signatures" Agustus said.

"Of course"

Harry moved forward and took the paperwork from Agustus. As he was about to sign his hand paused as his face scrunched up in what could only be described as grim, confusing anger.

"Agustus whose signature is this?" he said slowly as he pointed to a lone signature on the parchment.

"That's Mr. Wilson's signature. He signed the paperwork this morning" he said as if it should have been apparent to Harry.

"He signed this morning?" Lil said as she snatched the paperwork from Harry and looked at the signature.

"You knew about this?"

"Of course! How do you think he got authorization to sign?" Lil said. "I just figured I would have been able to talk with him first"

Harry merely exhaled and shook his head. "Does he even know what the results are for?"

"I'd like to know what the results are for" mumbled George as Fred and the others shook their heads in agreement.

"No, I don't think he does" she said sadly. "Did you happen to tell him Healer Pye?"

"Well no, actually. I reckoned he knew what they were for because he had been waiting for about a week now coming back every day asking if the results were in" he said looking between Harry and Lil.

"Err.. do the results say what was tested?" Harry asked as he hurriedly scribbled his signature and passed the parchment to Lil who did the same after snatching the folder from the confused healer.

"Well I'm not exactly sure" he said, "the only people authorized to see the results were yourselves and . The method for detection is purely muggle but the reading of the parchment is highly sensitive considering the people involved"

Lil was beside herself at this point and yanked the folder open and looked at the results. Harry swore if she hadn't looked deathly pale before he would have sworn she was a ghost.

"Harry" she said so softly he could barely hear her. She handed him the open folder and slumped against his shoulder.

Harry looked at the piece of parchment inside and saw nothing at first. He was about to ask where the results were until he saw the words appearing in big, gold letters '**POSITIVE**'.

"Shit!" he swore suddenly without thinking.

"Harold!" Sister Mary admonished

"Sorry Sister Mary" he said as he tugged on his hair, handing the folder back to Lil.

"What the hell is it positive for? And how is that dumb bastard going to figure it out?" he mumbled

"Harold!" she admonished again.

"It's a legitimate question!" he countered to the angry nun. Sister Mary was about to retort when Lil gasped, her eyes glued to the piece of parchment in her hands.

"Harry look!!" she squealed happily

Harry looked over her shoulder at the parchment as more words appeared.

"Hallelujah!" He said happily as he picked her and swung her around. He set her down as he noticed a tall red head man making his way towards the family holding Marie in his arms.

A/N: I know I'm an ass! My friends tell me this all the time but I promise the next chapter will be up soon. Until then …. what do you think the results are for? 


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